riding a scooter on samui SOS =surviving on samui
hi every one
i published this article on tripadvisor and they cencored it soooo much it didnt make sense ,so heres the full version
Just like to give everybody a little insight into riding a scooter on samui, Learn a little of thai culture and have a laugh as well
Now everybody knows samui is well known for its great beaches, now what do scooters and beaches have in common??
Well ive looked hard and long at that question ,but I have yet to work out how parts of these beaches end up on the worst corners of the roads and cause so many people to visit our pharmacies
Maybe the owners of the pharmacies are taking loads of sand every night and sprinkling them on strategic points outside their shops for a bit of extra income ,but I will have to spend some long nights in hiding ,waiting to confirm that theory
Now by all means if you have never ridden a scooter before definitely give it a try on samui
We have great hospitals and hundreds of pharmacies to take care of you and samui is a small island and any boost to the economy is much appreciated
Riding a scooter is fun and one of [if not the best way ] to see samui
But be warned
You need 3 special things to ride a scooter on samui [experience, common sense, and eyes in the back of your head]
1The most important being experience
And for those that don’t have any experience, you cant buy it from the supermarket either, however after you have survived your holiday on samui and returned home then you will have gained some experience
2 The second thing you need is common sense
Now it seems that most tourists loose this somewhere between the airport and the hotel
And although ive been here many years looking for common sense ive actually never seen any [anywhere]
You would have thought that all those tourists loosing their common sense all the time
That you would eventually find some somewhere but try as I may I still can’t find any
Common sense is also a western saying and I have it on good authority that this saying doesn’t exist in Thailand
3 eyes in the back of your head for these items ,they can be ordered from the local hospital that does cosmetic surgery
To learn more about scooters we have to look at a little history
After thai people stopped riding elephants [ they cost to much to feed and were rather slow ] they started riding bicycles ,but that was hard work so they started riding scooters instead [much better ]
Now the first scooters were manual [had clutch and gears] so you had to ride with both hands
However this meant that you couldn’t hold onto the kids as well as the rest of the house hold goods so they invented an automatic model [and the rest is history so to speak]
Now you can ride while feeding the little one and chat on the iphone all at the same time on the way to the market carrying the family and the dog as well in the basket.
,if you look hard enough you will see on many scooters a baby seat designed so the little one can go with you everywhere [otherwise the basket in front with the dog will do ]
There’s also many underage scooter riders on samui….well well well underage ,
in Thailand after you learn how to walk [or before],next you learn to ride the scooter
Children ride scooters on samui 7, 8 9 year olds riding around [even going to school]
The other day I was coming home from work and the police had a roadblock outside the local school stopping all the kids from going home on their scooters
Most of them were on their cell phones calling mum or dad to tell them they were going to be late home and could they come down and pay the fine
And a special note here about the fine? you have to keep the receipt for a special reason????? After you pay your fine you are free to get back on your scooter [with no helmet] put all 3 of you back on the bike and off you go??[I am serious here]
If you get stopped again on the same day and you have kept the receipt ,just produce this to the officer and you will be allowed to proceed on as they wont fine you twice in one day [I kid you not],this is how things are on samui [very nice and considerate guys our police here ]
Tomorrow the kids will ride back to school
Now there are many different categories of scooter rider on samui
category [1] are the ones that don’t wear a helmet [me included]
Totally breaking the law [ive been fined once in 10 years] but I do try hard to blend in with the locals as much as i can
You have to understand that a helmet costs 500 to over 1000 baht [or there abouts]
And the fine is normally 300 baht [for Thai people] so just do the math’s to realize its cheaper not to have one
And all you people out there don’t start going on about safety, blah blah blah [im just telling it like it is ]
Thailand is Buddhist and they live for today, they are not worried about tomorrow, or death by accident
As they will be reincarnated and come back as a policeman and then fine you for no helmet
The next category [2] are the riders that wear caps or hats
Now this is actually very clever because?[1] you don’t get sun burnt and[ 2] it actually helps you not to break the law ?????
How you ask??? Well the speed limit on samui is 45 kph
What’s that got to do with hats??? Well you cannot ride faster than that and keep your hat/cap on
Really im not joking Just try it ,at about 35 kph the hat starts to wobble , If you go any faster you either loose your hat or have to ride with one hand [and then you cant chat on the iphone ]
Of course if you are going into a head wind then you will be going slower or even nowhere at all
The next category[3] is the seafood category ,most know samui is well known for seafood
But these ones are huge big bright red sun burnt lobsters on a scooter
No matter how much sunscreen you put on ,combine that with wind burn ,If you ride around with no shirt on , you will pay the price[in more ways than 1]
And if you’re a guy and think that the Thai girls are looking at your great ,sexy, body you are very much mistaken
More likely their dad owns a pharmacy.
as well as showing off your body in a public place is very disrespectful in the Thai culture
so if you get pulled up for no helmet [1]by the police and wonder why the policeman treats you with disgust its not because you didn’t wear a helmet ,or hat [2]the simple fact is your are being totally rude and disrespectful just because you took your shirt off [3]and thought you were cool ,you will probably be made to pay the full fine of 500 baht and if you’re a woman in a skimpy bikini , the policeman will probably try to chat you up because you must be a prostitute to be dressed in public like that
so next time think a little about where you are and respect the country your in
now we all know that a scooter is for 2 people, right? , but not on samui
3 people is normal, 4 quite common, 5 must be a family outing [there will be a dog in there somewhere also]
Many times ive seen huge loads on scooters
From big screen tvs to a full size mattress on 1 occasion, [lucky it wasn’t too windy that day]
last week I saw a bicycle tied on the back of the scooter [sideways across the seat ]
Thought this was a novel way to solve the problem of running out of petrol
Now if you see 2 scooters going along the road connected by a leg and a foot up the exhaust of the one in front ?????
Its very simple,
He’s run out of gas and is getting a push to the nearest garage.
now if you saw somebody on a bike swerving in and out from the side to the middle of the road
and not just once but all the time mile after mile what would you think? Absolutely drunk?? Wasted??? A bit of both ?
Well on samui this is normal, yes, normal, absolutely an everyday occurrence, I kid you not
But not due to alcohol at all or drugs, actually just following the law [let me explain]
On samui we have a dedicated scooter lane clearly marked around the main ring road, This is designed to separate the bikes from the cars and trucks
However this is also a great place to park your car, which everybody now does and if you are riding your scooter down the bike lane you have to appear drunk to avoid from smashing into parked cars
so be warned its just about impossible to actually ride a bike /scooter with out breaking any laws on samui
if you want to blend in with the locals you will need the following
1 at least 3 people on the scooter
2 wear a cap so as to avoid speeding [and sunburn]
3 wear flip flops only,[bare feet better]
4 a dog in the front basket
5 at least some sort of furniture to carry along with the cell phone and baby
Now you will blend in with the locals totally and can ride around samui with out being recognized
Cheers
Dean Cleeton [samui local]